We’re distracted by what doesn’t matter
We tend to get lost in the details in ways that don’t serve us. This morning I found myself looking to drink the last drop of water from my mug and noticed there was something stuck at the bottom of it.
Instead of focusing on the fact that I had wonderful water to drink, my whole mind was consumed for a solid 5 seconds by the idea that something had contaminated my water. It wasn’t even about it being harmful to me in any way; I was just grossed out. If there was any water left in there prior to me discovering the bit of what turned out to just be tea leaves from the previous cup, the remaining water would have been undesirable to me, and I would have poured it down the sink. It would have taken me away from experiencing what really mattered, that is, if I hadn’t caught myself in the middle of that thought process.
We do this all the time, both collectively and as individuals. We worry about what we’re going to wear, so we skip nursing our bodies with breakfast in order to look appealing to others based solely on our own faulty judgments of ourselves.
We worry about what everyone else is going to think of us if we get up and dance at a wedding, so we ignore the excitement within us and stay seated, bored and feeling less-than. We worry that one detail gone wrong—one spec in a mug full of perfectly fresh, safe water—is enough to ruin the entire experience and throw away all the goodness that is right in front of us.
We fail to see the brilliance of what is because we continuously make a choice to give our power away to the minuscule details of what isn’t.
If we only new how little of an affect those circumstances actually had on us, if perceived for what they truly are. We would love every outfit, we would adore the energy and healing that dancing craves to feed us, and we certainly wouldn’t think twice about our health or social status being threatened by drinking out of a “dirty” mug if anyone else saw us do it.
Power is not given to a single seed alone. Power is in the thoughts and perspectives that water the seed—perspective is a fertilizer. This is the same way our bodies are not who we are; they are a mere reflection of what’s going on in our minds.
We allow ourselves to get distracted by what doesn’t matter because we’re afraid we won’t be loved and accepted if we focus on what truly does.
What doesn’t matter:
• How you look
• The diet you’re trying desperately to stick to
• Talking about other people/what other people are talking about
• Going to the party because you don’t want to miss out even though you’d much rather be in bed sleeping
What does matter:
• Connecting genuinely with others, breaking down barriers between us
• Going with the flow of what feels right to you and only you, even if it’s in a different direction than everyone else—it will feel better than whatever satisfaction you get from people-pleasing (do you even get any satisfaction from that?)
• Following joyful thoughts and putting yourself only in experiences that are enjoyable for you
The mere thought that a spec at the bottom of a mug could contaminate a drink does more damage than the spec itself. Fear is the only thing that allows these circumstances to control us. The only thing. If we change our perspective, then nothing has control over our inner-peace, and we experience a shift—a freedom—that can never be taken away from us.
How to Train Your Mind
Fear, although it seems like such a demanding boss, is only an illusion. Those who do not yet understand this universal truth will defend the illusion with readings and research, as they were trained very well to do.
I invite you instead to train your mind to see what truly matters, to focus on protecting your energy over your image, your joy over the illusion of humiliation.
Stop giving your power away. Outside circumstances—the outfit, the audience, the dirty cup—will never have control over your health or social status. But your fear around them will. I am saying that with such conviction because I’ve lived on both sides myself, and I will never allow my perspective to shift back.
And while my brain can fall into that idle way of thinking thoughts of rejection, I have become disciplined in catching and correcting the patterns, as illustrated above.
Do this by meditating, setting the intention to become aware of your thought patterns, and speaking on purpose. By that I mean, think about what you are saying, and question why you’re saying it. Does it make you feel free? Does it free others? Or does it trap them in some judgmental box? I don’t ask that to make you feel guilty—I ask because as we trap others, we are telling ourselves to recognize those qualities within ourselves, and in turn, we stay trapped.
The easiest way I’m finding to reshape your beliefs and reality is to ask for what you truly want as you’re laying down to sleep at night. And feel all the feelings that come with having that experience, because it’s never about the thing, it’s only about the feelings that thing brings. Then your subconscious will soak them in and you will find you wake up in a good mood.
But all of these practice require daily diligence. It’s not a one-time deal.
We have to challenge every single circumstance that shows up in our daily lives because each one holds a lesson for us to learn and to work through and to grow from.
For there is nothing wrong with the water except the belief that there is, and in seeing it as so, it turns to poison; there is nothing wrong with your dancing except the belief that there is, so you stumble, become embarrassed, and prove your self-fulfilled prophecy true; and there is nothing wrong with the clothes you already have on except the belief that they change how others will view you, so you keep your head low and act unworthy of attention in public, yet again proving the illusion to be true.
Energy is everything. Things are nothing.
Welcome a free, untouchable energy into your life and offer it to the world. You will find that these material and physical illusions shatter, and all you will be left with is a single thought: isn’t it all so beautiful?
One last word
It’s okay if you can’t recognize your thought patterns and limiting beliefs on your own; there’s always someone around who can always help. If you feel you could use some help with this, I recommend meeting with an energy healer, such as myself, who can help point out where you’re stuck and give you guidance and practical steps on how to get to where you want to be. To learn more about energy healing, you can check out my article about Reiki.